Currently in my household, there are 3 people. Myself, my wife and my friend who is staying with us for the time being.

Over time I’ve become aware of little things that define each of us.

For example, from my home office in the basement, I can hear what is happening in the rest of the house. I can tell who is coming down the stairs based on simply on how it sounds. My wife wears slippers so it sounds like she drags her feet when she comes down the stairs. My friend comes down with more velocity and weight. He is younger and the tallest of us all…

Here’s another example. We all share the same bathroom. To use our shower, I would turn on the water for the bathtub and turn a nob to divert water to the shower.  When I’m done, I always ‘turn off’ the shower so that next time when the water is turned on, it first comes out of the tub faucet. My wife does this as well. But our friend tends to leave the shower ‘on’ so that when the water is turned on, water immediately comes out of the shower head.  Now I always know who took the last shower.

Why am I telling you all this?

We all have habits that define who we are, whether we realize it or not. And our habits affect how we live each day; they define what we experience; they dictate whether we are happy or not, wealthy or not, healthy or not.

Now, how you use the shower or come down the stairs may not have a significant effect on your life.

But there *are* habits you have that do have a significant effect. You wouldn’t be living the life you have now if it weren’t for your current habits.

Do you know what they are?

I’m talking about your beliefs, how you use your time, how you respond to life circumstances, your view of the world, what you think of other people, what you think about yourself, what you like to eat, what do you think about when you eat, how you spend money, what you think of money, etc. etc.

Everything you do, think, say, believe is based on some habit.

To cool thing is that once you become aware of what your habits are, you can choose something different. And when you choose differently, your experience changes – your life changes.

This is what I do as your life coach… I help you become aware of subconscious habits that run your life. If there is an area of your life that you’re not happy with, we look at it together to see what is out of alignment with what you want.  We look at the patterns and uncover the defining habit.  Once you’re aware of the habit, you can choose to change it. It’s quite simple.

It’s likely that my friend isn’t even aware that he leaves the shower ‘on.’ It’s likely that my wife doesn’t even know that it sounds like she drags her feet when she walks. And again in these situations it doesn’t really matter to me.  If it bothered me that my friend leaves the shower on, I would tell him and I’m sure he would become more conscious of changing his behavior. Likewise, if it bothered me that my wife drags her feed, I would tell her and *maybe* she would change.

The point is from my perspective I can more easily see the habits in other people. Just like I’m sure you can see things your friends do and wonder why they don’t see it.

If these habits work for them, great! And if not, we can work together to change them so that they’re happier, healthier, wealthier or whatever they desire.

It is possible to become aware of your own habits and change them. You don’t necessarily need someone to help you.  But the process is usually faster and more fun with someone who offers a non-judgmental perspective.

I currently have room in my schedule for 5 more clients. If there is a part of your life that you’d like to upgrade, let’s have a chat and see how coaching might support you.  Call me at 617-332-9659 to schedule an introductory session.

I look forward to connecting with you.

Nat

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoWoEyO4jHE

Bonjour,

My wife, Olga, and I just got back from a trip to Paris – hence, the ‘Bonjour’ greeting. We were visiting our son who is doing a semester in college there.

We enjoyed unseasonably warm temperatures, truly delicious comfort food, like hot chocolate, chocolate croissants, cheese, brioche, butter, more butter and more chocolate

We also experienced the Eiffel Tower, Sacre Coeur (a beautiful church up on a hill), the contemporary
art museum and did lots and lots of leisurely walking. The city is just so beautiful!

Now that I am back home and have eased myself back to my life as it exists here, I am acutely aware of what my everyday habits were before Paris.

You see, being in Paris was a complete change of pace for me…

• I didn’t carry around my cell phone (didn’t want to pay international rates)
• Consequently, I didn’t check email from my phone (and I didn’t miss it)
• I was more physically active, walking all over town
• I spent most of the day outside (left our place of stay in the morning and returned in the evening)
• I didn’t watch any TV
• Every meal I had was with family and friends

Before Paris, I remember checking my email often throughout the day, watching TV during my meal times, playing games on my cell phone when I was waiting for someone, spending time at my desk in front of the computer or on the phone with clients and perhaps spending more time inside vs. outside.

Now that I am more conscious of my habits I get to pick and choose what works for me and what no longer works for me.  I highly recommend changing your pace every now and then just so you can gain a new perspective.

Sometimes we can get into a rut because we’re not aware of what we’re doing. We do it because we’ve always done it that way. Or we don’t do things because it appears to require too much effort.

Thus, changing your pace can create space for new experiences.

How can you change your pace?

Here are 10 different ways.

1. Take a vacation
2. Give yourself one day a week when youcan do anything you want
3. Exercise/Move and stretch your body
4. Try new things, i.e. go dancing on a Saturday night if you don’t normally
5. Drive a new way to work or school
6. Change your morning routine
7. Change your diet
8. Listen to a different radio station
9. Give up TV for a week or more
10. Check your email only once per day

How will you change your pace?

I would love to hear from you. Please comment below.

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Beyond the Overwhelm program.

By the way, how we respond to stress is yet another habit or routine we have.

Most people react to circumstances and create the same drama cycle every time. This only exacerbates your stress.

If you want to learn a proven process to

* relieve stress
* prevent people from pushing your buttons
* and enjoy more peace of mind,

Go right now to sign up for my coaching program that starts next week! Details at the link below.

http://www.ProsperityLighthouse.com/overwhelm

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Many personal development enthusiasts spend their whole life trying to fix themselves and/or prove themselves.

I know because I was one of them.  I was never satisfied with who I was or where I was in life.  I would associate my self-worth with how much money I had, how well I performed, how I ranked in the class, how many goals I achieved, how much work I accomplished or what kind of job I had.  Often I would be motivated to do things just to prove to others that I could, which proved to me that I was somebody. When good things happened, I was happy. When things didn’t happen as desired, I almost always saw it as reflection of me and sought to change it.

I later became aware that this was not a healthy way to live. I realized that I was just ‘running on the hampster wheel’ chasing after something I wanted but getting nowhere. I needed to get off that track.  Valuing myself based on outside circumstances was not fair.  (But unfortunately this is what most people do.)

Since then, I’ve learned and am constantly reminded to love and value myself unconditionally.

So I ask you to consider –

What if…

The quality (or lack of quality) of your work was not a reflection of who you are

What if…

Not reaching your goal didn’t mean you were a failure

What if…

Not performing well didn’t mean you were not good enough

What if…

Being in debt,  not having a steady income, not having clients, not having a job, not being able to pay your bills, etc. etc. was nothing to be embarrassed or shameful about…

What if…

There was nothing wrong with you, nothing to fix?

WHAT IF…

No matter what happened, happens, or will happen in your life, you are and will always be an amazing, magnificent, valuable being.

Allow yourself to breathe this in. You are whole and perfect. There is nothing to fix within you, nothing wrong with you, nothing to hide.  You are already great!

Now, what if you were to take this on. Embody it. Would you live your life differently?

I would love to read your comments below.

Nancy Parker, the organizer of the MET group, a local business networking site I belong to, had stopped by my profile and asked me, “What does energy-shifting mean?” I use this term in my Company’s USO (Unique Serving Offer):

Prosperity Lighthouse provides energy-shifting coaching programs that ignite your passion, nurture your soul and multiply your prosperity connections.

Great question Nancy!

To understand energy-shifting requires an understanding of how we create our lives.

Basically, we create how our lives look and feel (the structure of our reality) based on our individual energetic blueprints. Think of an architect who draws up a blueprint for a new building. We are the architects of our life.

Our energetic blueprints comprise of everything we do, believe, think and feel. And how we individually ‘do, believe, think and feel’ on a moment-by-moment basis establishes patterns/habits/routines that are often repeated without conscious control.

Most people feel stuck reliving the same patterns over and over again. They may think, “That’s just the way it is.” Or they may ask themselves in frustration, “Why is this happening to me again? Why can’t I get past this? Why is this so hard? What is wrong with me?”

We can have conscious control over how we feel and what we experience however. We effect change by becoming aware of our mostly subconscious behaviors and beliefs that create what we don’t like or want, and then consciously choosing a new belief or behavior that supports us better.

When you choose to live by new belief systems, new behaviors and new perspectives, you literally change your energetic blueprint. You shift the energy and as a result can experience a new reality.

You can go from someone who never wins anything to suddenly winning a boat-load of stuff. You may be struggling to get new clients/customers and then shift to a reality where it’s easy to get clients and you work a lot less. The possibilities are endless.

This is what I mean by energy-shifting.

Our energy-shifting coaching programs help you become aware of the patterns, the beliefs that have blocked you from getting what you want. Maybe you feel stuck, tired, drained, unsupported, stressed, etc. Maybe you’ve hit a plateau in your business. Maybe you want to know why you keep putting off things you know you should be doing. Maybe you want to have more free time and a balance between work and family.

We assist you in opening up to and moving the stuck energy and then helping you move into an energized calmness so you can get what you want. When you are calm and centered, you can tap into the energy to easily create what you want. And, most importantly you’re happy.

If you want to identify the patterns that hold you back and start shifting your energy to create what you want, contact me for a complimentary consultation. Call 617-332-9659 or email me, nat (at) prosperitylighthouse.com to schedule your session.

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed often, it is a good sign that you are operating from a place of lack.

Here are the common symptoms:

• You are not present; you’re thinking about the past or worrying about the future
• You often don’t know what happened to your money or time
• You find yourself thinking about what is not working in your life
• You take action out of need, guilt or desperation
• You’re not enjoying yourself; you’re not happy.
• You don’t make time to relax; you’re always on the go
• You don’t think very highly of yourself; in fact, you’re quite hard on yourself
• You are so entrenched in your ‘stuff’ that you miss new opportunities
• You become a prisoner to your emotions; they control you.
• You feel drained and unsupported
• You aren’t sure what you want anymore; you’re unclear and frustrated.
• You scramble to do a lot but don’t see any tangible results
• You believe that what you have or what you do is not enough
• You frequently worry about your bills or how little money you have and think having more money will solve your problems

What happens as a result is that you’re always trying to compensate for what you don’t have or what you don’t like. You keep on trying, keep on doing more, spending more time and more money, only to get the same results as before and feel worse! You never really ‘get to’ where you want to be.

Talk about overwhelming!

I lived this way for many years. It’s not a fun way to live.

Fortunately, the above symptoms are just your bad habits, and habits can be replaced. Here are a few things you can do differently.

1. Several times a day, write down what you appreciate and get into the feeling of gratitude
2. Be happy – just because
3. Make time to relax and do something fun each day
4. Make a list of your past successes and add to this list

The more you make room for these new habits, the more room you’ll create for the things you want. And you’ll life will become simpler (read: not overwhelming) because you’re only focusing on what you want.

Please share your feedback below.

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We have a proprietary coaching process that energetically supports you to create more room for what you want. If you are tired of feeling overwhelmed and want to experience more abundance, let us support you.  Just click on the link below.

Beyond the Overwhelm

As a life coach, I have found harmony in my work and family life by becoming clear on what I needed to do in order to make myself happy – but it wasn’t always this way. For a long time I wasn’t really living; I was participating in life on autopilot. Each morning, I woke up feeling numb and dreading the work that I was doing at that time, not aware of all that I had created in my life.

I finally realized that by saying over and over “someday,” I was holding myself back from feeling joyful in the present moment! By becoming aware of this habit that I had created, I could then choose to believe something else, something that resonated with what I wanted to attract into my reality. This action of creating new habits allowed me to attract what I wanted as opposed to what I didn’t want. Awareness is never-ending. We continue to evolve and expand every moment of our lives by taking care of ourselves in order to attract a constant flow of abundance into our lives.

Get in touch with your feelings
My first real introduction to energy work was when I was in school to be an esthetician. It was there that I first heard about Reiki, Polarity, acupuncture, shiatsu and many other energy modalities. Energy work helps to clear stuck energy and keep the good vibes flowing. Whenever I was going through a rough time, the perfect book, person or solution would come to mind. The more I followed this inner guidance/energy, the easier my life became. The funny thing was I clearly remember saying to myself, “Is this too good to be true?”

Now, I acknowledge my feelings objectively in order to manage my emotional energy or emotional charge, positive or negative. I choose to stay in a higher charge/vibration, so it is necessary to stay neutral when sorting through my feelings. Instead of judging my feelings, I look objectively at a situation and decide what I want to do in order to move forward. I utilize my emotions as a guide  to get clear on what I want and what I don’t want. Expressing how I feel on paper has made it easy to uncover any beliefs that are holding me back.

Let go of perfection
Growing up felt like a struggle. I never really fit in; I wasn’t comfortable at home. I jumped from one achievement to another, expecting to find lasting joy but never really getting there. I hated my life — it was so hard, and I was tired. It was always, Do a little more. Learn a little more. You don’t know enough. I felt unworthy, unappreciated, taken advantage of and angry.

I realized that the person I was angry at was me, for not appreciating myself, seeing my own value and giving time to myself. I was tired of feeling like the victim, of promising myself that someday I would have everything I wanted in life. It then became clear that if I wanted others to treat me a certain way, I needed to hold the vibration that would reflect it back to me. This realization allowed me to focus on my own happiness.

Get clear on what YOU want vs. what others want
I permanently took the pressure off myself to be perfect by knowing that everything already is perfect. I stopped allowing others’ needs and opinions create my life. Instead of doing what I thought everyone else wanted me to do, I started to do what I wanted to. By slowing down enough to appreciate the abundance that already existed in my life, I had set the pace to understand my emotions and what they were telling me.

As a result, my life has transformed in all areas because I take time out of each day to stop “doing.” I take care of myself on both an inner and outer level. I focus on my inner self with quiet music or silence, which lets my inner voice speak and give my mind a rest. I use this time to script about my thoughts, feelings and inspired actions. Taking care of myself on an outer level involves massages, acupuncture, holistic exercises, and walking.

Live abundantly
Using the law of attraction means letting go of past experiences that have held you back and caused emotional chaos in your life. Your experiences shape your beliefs, and your beliefs create your future. What you believe for yourself comes from how you want to feel as a result of the energy that you put into the universe. It’s about choosing your life, moment to moment.

Now, I’m getting everything done as a mom, wife and entrepreneur with less effort. The power is in your energy — I’m living my life empowered and mentoring others to do the same.

One of the goals I declared in my 90-day challenge is to become more active.

So I made myself get up early this morning and go to yoga class. While I was doing the exercises I noticed that my mind was wandering and thinking. I kept on bringing my awareness back to my body and the present moment but it would continue to wander off.

But then about 20 minutes into the class, something clicked and I was completely present. My mind quieted down and I was feeling completely blissful.

At this moment, I had the ‘a-ha’ that if we get into the habit to establish a specific rhythm for ourselves, it is easier to fall back into that rhythm when we notice we’re out of it. (So if I had been consistent with keeping myself present, it may not have taken me 20 minutes to get my mind to quiet down.)

Eventually it becomes natural for ourselves to be in that rhythm. That is the dominant pattern/habit we set up for ourselves.

I left my yoga class feeling completely centered, grounded and at peace. And as I write this, I am still in this space. It is a wonderful space to be in.

This concept of establishing a rhythm affects every area of our lives. Everything is energy. Energy vibrates at different frequencies. We experience each frequency differently.

Think of your heart beating. It has a rhythm or frequency. Don’t you notice the difference with how you feel based on how slow or fast your heart is beating? There are palpable changes in your body.

If you are someone who is always on the go, racing from one place to another, never taking time for yourself, always worrying about what’s going to happen next, etc. etc, then you have established this pattern for yourself. This is your natural rhythm. You will easily fall into this routine. And as a result, you consistently feel stressed and overwhelmed. You may have a faster resting heart rate and higher blood pressure too!

Conversely, if you are someone who takes care of yourself, takes time to appreciate what you have, gets excited about good things in your life, values yourself and uses your time and money consciously, then this is the kind of life you experience because you’ve established this pattern or routine for yourself.

Like attracts like.

Therefore, to change any situation in your life, you need to break the current established pattern by replacing it with a new pattern that you desire.

If you want to experience more prosperity (whatever prosperity means to you), you need to consistently take steps which support your vision. Replace the habits that are influenced by ‘lack thinking’ with habits that promote abundance, value and possibilities.

The little baby action steps you take consistently over time will establish a new pattern for your life. You will be establishing and reinforcing a new vibe for yourself and as a result, you ‘attract’ more of the same. This becomes your natural consciousness.

Establishing a rhythm that you desire also creates another benefit. You don’t experience the roller coaster of emotions that one experiences as a result of ‘stop and go’ action.

So…

What kind of life rhythm do you want?

And what action steps will you take today to either establish this new vibe or reinforce one that you already have?

We would love to read your thoughts. Please comment below.

The other day I caught myself in the moment. It was a beautiful, sunny day. We were playing in the backyard with the kids. I noticed neither of us got caught up thinking about the “things” that we should be getting done. This is rare in our family. One of us is usually in resistance to just relaxing. As I got settled in my lounge chair, I couldn’t help smiling. I was totally enjoying this moment, caught up in the experience of watching Pat and the kids laugh and splash around the pool. It was if a lightening bolt hit me….I was fully present in the experience. The past or future did not matter. The only thing on my mind was how relaxed and happy I felt. I was in complete gratitude for my life.

Often I have so many thoughts and ideas moving through my mind, I miss being in the immediate experience. The inspiration to write this article was partly from the realization above. The other was reading the book, The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. Randy was a professor at Carnegie Mellon who even before finding out he had terminal pancreatic cancer, lived in the moment. The Last Lecture’s message was loud and clear to me, enjoy and be thankful for all the moments of your life. Stop putting your dreams and desires on hold and start living right now. What do you want from your life?

Going out for a jog one morning, I experienced another example of how being in the moment serves me. When I set out for a run or walk, I know where I want to end up, the destination is in mind. I can choose to focus on what’s ahead or where I am right then. When I focus too far ahead, thoughts that don’t serve me start to creep in ….I’m tired, this is hard, it’s too hot, how am I going to make it up this hill, etc. I become distracted by all the chatter and lose confidence in achieving what I set out to do. When I keep the destination in sight, not looking too far ahead and focus on my breathing, how I’m feeling then, what I’m seeing and experiencing, there is no struggle or feeling overwhelmed. Focusing on my breath and allowing my mind to empty keeps me in the moment. There is nothing I can’t accomplish one breath at a time.

Do you ever find yourself obsessing about a situation or experience that didn’t sit well with you? How about playing a scenario over and over in your mind like a broken record repeats? It is normal to get caught up in the should have’s, what if’s and yeah but’s. Moving beyond the experience can be challenging at times. Do I think that by hitting replay over and over I can actually change the result? The only thing I can change is my response to what I experienced. Whenever I get caught up in thoughts that go round and round, I stop and ask myself, are these thoughts serving me? What can I learn from this experience?

At one point or another, I would get caught up in the momentum of life, switching to automatic pilot to just get through the day, week or month. Can anyone relate? I eventually figured out that this was a survival tactic not living. The first step I took to start living more was to look at what was not working in my life and get tuned into what I wanted out of my life. I committed to myself to live more consciously, to fully enjoy the journey of my life, one moment at a time. Every day I re-commit to this decision because I know that it is easy to get caught up in letting life and circumstances take over. With a new perspective and attitude toward life, I rarely get stuck on autopilot.

Being in the moment is a time when the past and future are not the focus; the moment you are in is the only experience you are aware of. It’s being fully present with whomever or whatever is going on right at that time. Being in the moment is a gift. There is no judgment or planning; only the experience you are presently immersed in. What a relief!

Just a few years ago my life was way out of balance. A chaotic mess to be brutally honest. I was an unhappy, successful spa owner trying to figure out how to be mommy, continue to contribute financially and find the joy I had lost. Luca was almost a year old and Sessina was almost 3, I was numb, overwhelmed and running around trying to find the path out of my “crazy busy” life. There was a large part of me just wanting to be home, a traditional housewife raising the kids. I envied my “stay at home” friends and clients. Although, they didn’t have an answer to the balance question either.  The more I chased happiness, the more out of balance I became.

How the heck did I get here and where is the yellow brick road back to happiness? The way back “home” was to look inside, the answer was always there.

Some people are so out of balance they don’t even realize it! That was me… I was successful, had a family, home in the suburbs…what was wrong with me? I had everything I wanted! Why wasn’t I happy?

We have so many things we juggle: family, work, social commitments, etc. So, what does balance look like? Balance is a personal perspective. What seems like chaos to one person is a fun life for the other. You are the only one who can choose the pace for your life. What do you want?

Tip #1 – Take time for yourself.

Exercise, meditate, write, do something just for you every day to re-energize and recharge. What do you enjoy doing that gives yourself a mental vacation? At least once a month, give yourself a longer treat, a massage, energy treatments, take a bath.  Make the time for yourself, stop putting yourself last. Take time for yourself now, the future may be too late.

Tip #2 – Check in objectively throughout the day.

Get out of autopilot mode, connect to yourself and allow yourself to feel. What do you notice? Being aware of your emotional energy is an important tool in staying balanced. I honor and acknowledge all my emotions, feeling good or feeling bad. I use it as guidance in helping me understand the experience I’m in.  What do you notice about your body? What conversations are going on in your mind? Take a few minutes throughout the day to check in with yourself. The only control you have is how you respond to experiences.

Tip #3 – Be authentic in communicating and relating to others.

Listen without judgement or worrying about what you are going to say in response. Be who you are, not what you think others want you to be. It is so much easier to attract the friendships, relationships, partnerships and experiences into your life that are in exact alignment with who you are naturally. Difficulty in relationships show up when you resist.

Maintaining a balanced life can be challenging at times. But life would be boring if we didn’t have some experiences that challenge us. The tips above have given me a happier, healthier and more peaceful life. I hope they lead you there too.