Currently in my household, there are 3 people. Myself, my wife and my friend who is staying with us for the time being.

Over time I’ve become aware of little things that define each of us.

For example, from my home office in the basement, I can hear what is happening in the rest of the house. I can tell who is coming down the stairs based on simply on how it sounds. My wife wears slippers so it sounds like she drags her feet when she comes down the stairs. My friend comes down with more velocity and weight. He is younger and the tallest of us all…

Here’s another example. We all share the same bathroom. To use our shower, I would turn on the water for the bathtub and turn a nob to divert water to the shower.  When I’m done, I always ‘turn off’ the shower so that next time when the water is turned on, it first comes out of the tub faucet. My wife does this as well. But our friend tends to leave the shower ‘on’ so that when the water is turned on, water immediately comes out of the shower head.  Now I always know who took the last shower.

Why am I telling you all this?

We all have habits that define who we are, whether we realize it or not. And our habits affect how we live each day; they define what we experience; they dictate whether we are happy or not, wealthy or not, healthy or not.

Now, how you use the shower or come down the stairs may not have a significant effect on your life.

But there *are* habits you have that do have a significant effect. You wouldn’t be living the life you have now if it weren’t for your current habits.

Do you know what they are?

I’m talking about your beliefs, how you use your time, how you respond to life circumstances, your view of the world, what you think of other people, what you think about yourself, what you like to eat, what do you think about when you eat, how you spend money, what you think of money, etc. etc.

Everything you do, think, say, believe is based on some habit.

To cool thing is that once you become aware of what your habits are, you can choose something different. And when you choose differently, your experience changes – your life changes.

This is what I do as your life coach… I help you become aware of subconscious habits that run your life. If there is an area of your life that you’re not happy with, we look at it together to see what is out of alignment with what you want.  We look at the patterns and uncover the defining habit.  Once you’re aware of the habit, you can choose to change it. It’s quite simple.

It’s likely that my friend isn’t even aware that he leaves the shower ‘on.’ It’s likely that my wife doesn’t even know that it sounds like she drags her feet when she walks. And again in these situations it doesn’t really matter to me.  If it bothered me that my friend leaves the shower on, I would tell him and I’m sure he would become more conscious of changing his behavior. Likewise, if it bothered me that my wife drags her feed, I would tell her and *maybe* she would change.

The point is from my perspective I can more easily see the habits in other people. Just like I’m sure you can see things your friends do and wonder why they don’t see it.

If these habits work for them, great! And if not, we can work together to change them so that they’re happier, healthier, wealthier or whatever they desire.

It is possible to become aware of your own habits and change them. You don’t necessarily need someone to help you.  But the process is usually faster and more fun with someone who offers a non-judgmental perspective.

I currently have room in my schedule for 5 more clients. If there is a part of your life that you’d like to upgrade, let’s have a chat and see how coaching might support you.  Call me at 617-332-9659 to schedule an introductory session.

I look forward to connecting with you.

Nat

www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoWoEyO4jHE

Many personal development enthusiasts spend their whole life trying to fix themselves and/or prove themselves.

I know because I was one of them.  I was never satisfied with who I was or where I was in life.  I would associate my self-worth with how much money I had, how well I performed, how I ranked in the class, how many goals I achieved, how much work I accomplished or what kind of job I had.  Often I would be motivated to do things just to prove to others that I could, which proved to me that I was somebody. When good things happened, I was happy. When things didn’t happen as desired, I almost always saw it as reflection of me and sought to change it.

I later became aware that this was not a healthy way to live. I realized that I was just ‘running on the hampster wheel’ chasing after something I wanted but getting nowhere. I needed to get off that track.  Valuing myself based on outside circumstances was not fair.  (But unfortunately this is what most people do.)

Since then, I’ve learned and am constantly reminded to love and value myself unconditionally.

So I ask you to consider –

What if…

The quality (or lack of quality) of your work was not a reflection of who you are

What if…

Not reaching your goal didn’t mean you were a failure

What if…

Not performing well didn’t mean you were not good enough

What if…

Being in debt,  not having a steady income, not having clients, not having a job, not being able to pay your bills, etc. etc. was nothing to be embarrassed or shameful about…

What if…

There was nothing wrong with you, nothing to fix?

WHAT IF…

No matter what happened, happens, or will happen in your life, you are and will always be an amazing, magnificent, valuable being.

Allow yourself to breathe this in. You are whole and perfect. There is nothing to fix within you, nothing wrong with you, nothing to hide.  You are already great!

Now, what if you were to take this on. Embody it. Would you live your life differently?

I would love to read your comments below.

The reality show ‘So You Think You Can Dance’ has a practice that I believe everyone should adopt.

After they’ve announced which contestant will be leaving the show that week, Cat Deeley, the show’s host, says, “Let’s take a look at your best moments.” and then everyone watches a video montage highlighting that dancer’s journey.

I love this! Instead of focusing on the fact that the contestant did not win the show, they celebrate his or her achievements. They take time to review and reflect on that dancer’s best moments. The video montage they play is always so inspirational and touching.

What if we all did this for ourselves?

What if every time we did something wrong or experienced something we don’t like, we celebrated our achievements instead of beating up on ourselves? Can you imagine the effect this would have on us?

How would this effect the way you behave? How would this effect the way you feel about yourself?

(Please comment below.)

Over the last several weeks, I have been getting a consistent message:

Be Yourself.

I’ve heard this message from the radio shows I’ve been hosting, from movies I’ve watched, from TV shows and from the clients I’ve talked to.

Being yourself seems to be a lot easier than running around trying to be someone other than you. Trying to be someone else is just so tiring. (For a great enactment of this, watch the movie Soccer Mom.)

Often times we think people will like us better if we look or act a certain way. We’re afraid to act goofy or say something stupid. If you’re in business, you may think you will get more clients if you present your message a certain way. But unfortunately, our message or look is rarely congruent with ourselves. What usually happens is that we expend a lot of energy trying to please everyone and we are left feeling scattered, drained and unfulfilled. We’re afraid of being rejected but we reject our selves. This is no way to live.

In my recent interview with Purpose Coach, Jeff Baker, Jeff defined purpose as ‘that which you are most compelled to do.’ It is that thing, that activity, that subject matter that you gravitate towards. And when you are ‘doing this thing’ you are being yourself and you are enjoying your life. You are living your passion.

When you are being yourself and living your passion, people who resonate with you will naturally be drawn to you. You won’t ever feel rejected because you’re accepting of yourself. And others will accept you as well.

Over the last several weeks, I’ve come to a deeper understanding of what my purpose is. While I know that I’ve always enjoyed empowering people to let go of their baggage and create their best life, I realize that I’ve been leaving out parts of myself. I have been guilty of trying to put out the ‘right’ message, instead of just putting out my message.

I feel very comfortable talking about topics, such as, energy, global consciousness, spirituality, metaphysics, self-empowerment, awareness, paranormal ideas, Law of Attraction, conscious living and more. These are topics that some might consider ‘airy-fairy’ or ‘woo-woo.’ But that’s okay. Interestingly enough though, I also enjoy talking about science and technology. And this is perhaps how I am unique. I integrate the hard and soft sciences in a practical way to help people understand their lives and enjoy them more.

On this blog and in future issues of my newsletter, you will see more from me on the above topics.

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Realizing what your passion is can be easier than actually following it. We can often come up with excuses why we can’t do what we love. If we give more power to the excuses than ourselves, we can lose hope; we feel powerless to change the situation and eventually frustration and/or depression sets in.

There was one time when I really wanted to go on a retreat. It was for 21 days. Can you imagine all the thoughts that came up for why I couldn’t do it? At first I told myself that I couldn’t do it because… someone needed to pick up my wife, Olga, from work every night; I would be losing 3 weeks of work – how would I pay the bills? How was I going to pay for the retreat? How was I going to get myself there?

Well, I ended up going. It was one of the most transformational events of my life. I’m glad that I stuck with it. I’m glad that I did not let what I thought were big huge obstacles to limit me from experiencing what I really wanted.

Questions for you:
1) What do you love doing? What is your passion?
2) What’s stopping you from having this or more of this?
3) What needs to change for you spend even more time doing what you love?

I would love to read your answers below.

(If you need help making the changes or don’t know what needs to be changed, please see how I can support you.)

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed often, it is a good sign that you are operating from a place of lack.

Here are the common symptoms:

• You are not present; you’re thinking about the past or worrying about the future
• You often don’t know what happened to your money or time
• You find yourself thinking about what is not working in your life
• You take action out of need, guilt or desperation
• You’re not enjoying yourself; you’re not happy.
• You don’t make time to relax; you’re always on the go
• You don’t think very highly of yourself; in fact, you’re quite hard on yourself
• You are so entrenched in your ‘stuff’ that you miss new opportunities
• You become a prisoner to your emotions; they control you.
• You feel drained and unsupported
• You aren’t sure what you want anymore; you’re unclear and frustrated.
• You scramble to do a lot but don’t see any tangible results
• You believe that what you have or what you do is not enough
• You frequently worry about your bills or how little money you have and think having more money will solve your problems

What happens as a result is that you’re always trying to compensate for what you don’t have or what you don’t like. You keep on trying, keep on doing more, spending more time and more money, only to get the same results as before and feel worse! You never really ‘get to’ where you want to be.

Talk about overwhelming!

I lived this way for many years. It’s not a fun way to live.

Fortunately, the above symptoms are just your bad habits, and habits can be replaced. Here are a few things you can do differently.

1. Several times a day, write down what you appreciate and get into the feeling of gratitude
2. Be happy – just because
3. Make time to relax and do something fun each day
4. Make a list of your past successes and add to this list

The more you make room for these new habits, the more room you’ll create for the things you want. And you’ll life will become simpler (read: not overwhelming) because you’re only focusing on what you want.

Please share your feedback below.

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We have a proprietary coaching process that energetically supports you to create more room for what you want. If you are tired of feeling overwhelmed and want to experience more abundance, let us support you.  Just click on the link below.

Beyond the Overwhelm

As a life coach, I have found harmony in my work and family life by becoming clear on what I needed to do in order to make myself happy – but it wasn’t always this way. For a long time I wasn’t really living; I was participating in life on autopilot. Each morning, I woke up feeling numb and dreading the work that I was doing at that time, not aware of all that I had created in my life.

I finally realized that by saying over and over “someday,” I was holding myself back from feeling joyful in the present moment! By becoming aware of this habit that I had created, I could then choose to believe something else, something that resonated with what I wanted to attract into my reality. This action of creating new habits allowed me to attract what I wanted as opposed to what I didn’t want. Awareness is never-ending. We continue to evolve and expand every moment of our lives by taking care of ourselves in order to attract a constant flow of abundance into our lives.

Get in touch with your feelings
My first real introduction to energy work was when I was in school to be an esthetician. It was there that I first heard about Reiki, Polarity, acupuncture, shiatsu and many other energy modalities. Energy work helps to clear stuck energy and keep the good vibes flowing. Whenever I was going through a rough time, the perfect book, person or solution would come to mind. The more I followed this inner guidance/energy, the easier my life became. The funny thing was I clearly remember saying to myself, “Is this too good to be true?”

Now, I acknowledge my feelings objectively in order to manage my emotional energy or emotional charge, positive or negative. I choose to stay in a higher charge/vibration, so it is necessary to stay neutral when sorting through my feelings. Instead of judging my feelings, I look objectively at a situation and decide what I want to do in order to move forward. I utilize my emotions as a guide  to get clear on what I want and what I don’t want. Expressing how I feel on paper has made it easy to uncover any beliefs that are holding me back.

Let go of perfection
Growing up felt like a struggle. I never really fit in; I wasn’t comfortable at home. I jumped from one achievement to another, expecting to find lasting joy but never really getting there. I hated my life — it was so hard, and I was tired. It was always, Do a little more. Learn a little more. You don’t know enough. I felt unworthy, unappreciated, taken advantage of and angry.

I realized that the person I was angry at was me, for not appreciating myself, seeing my own value and giving time to myself. I was tired of feeling like the victim, of promising myself that someday I would have everything I wanted in life. It then became clear that if I wanted others to treat me a certain way, I needed to hold the vibration that would reflect it back to me. This realization allowed me to focus on my own happiness.

Get clear on what YOU want vs. what others want
I permanently took the pressure off myself to be perfect by knowing that everything already is perfect. I stopped allowing others’ needs and opinions create my life. Instead of doing what I thought everyone else wanted me to do, I started to do what I wanted to. By slowing down enough to appreciate the abundance that already existed in my life, I had set the pace to understand my emotions and what they were telling me.

As a result, my life has transformed in all areas because I take time out of each day to stop “doing.” I take care of myself on both an inner and outer level. I focus on my inner self with quiet music or silence, which lets my inner voice speak and give my mind a rest. I use this time to script about my thoughts, feelings and inspired actions. Taking care of myself on an outer level involves massages, acupuncture, holistic exercises, and walking.

Live abundantly
Using the law of attraction means letting go of past experiences that have held you back and caused emotional chaos in your life. Your experiences shape your beliefs, and your beliefs create your future. What you believe for yourself comes from how you want to feel as a result of the energy that you put into the universe. It’s about choosing your life, moment to moment.

Now, I’m getting everything done as a mom, wife and entrepreneur with less effort. The power is in your energy — I’m living my life empowered and mentoring others to do the same.

Yesterday, I was watching an enlightening TV show for kids. The following poem was recited at the end of the show. This poem reminds us that we are each unique individuals and need to value ourselves.

Me I Am !

I am the only Me I Am
Who qualifies as me,
no Me I AM has been before,
and none will ever be
No other Me I Am can feel
the feelings I’ ve within,
no other Me I Am can fit
precisely in my skin
There is no other Me I Am
who thinks the thoughts I do,
the world contains one Me I Am
this earth shall ever see,
that Me I Am I always am
is no one else but Me!

by Jack Prelutsky

This poem is from the children’s book, “Me I Am”, by Jack Prelutsky.

Being a mom and an entrepreneur is the experience that you create for yourself, and I view it as an ever-changing adventure. One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to master adapting to change.

Schedules change all the time between juggling the kids, your husband or partner, house maintenance and running a business. While most days work at maximum flow, with everything on task, on time and on schedule, there are days that seem as though you are hitting every rock on your path down the peaceful river.

How can you easily adjust to the moments in the day that don’t go as planned? Consider surrendering to what is. The only change you can make is in how you respond to your experiences. Your emotional response is what creates feelings of joy or anxiety.

Here’s an example: both kids are home sick today. Both my 5- and 3-year-old woke up with temperatures and stomach aches, and suddenly a day of chaos flashed before me, which was nothing like the productive day of deadline driven work that I had planned on. A wave of anxiety passed over me as I wondered, How am I going to pull everything off?

In the past, I would have continued to focus on my problem for the rest of the day, getting more and more stressed, knowing that I had a class to teach that night on top of everything. Instead, I realized that I wasn’t going to get anything done feeling anxious. I stepped back, took a few breaths and did an exercise that helped me shift from feeling anxious to accepting that this was a challenge I could overcome.

Instead of running around being the mom-taxi, I would be at home all day, working at a leisurely pace and taking hug breaks throughout the day! As a result of shifting how I felt about the changes, what was needed to get done, got done! I lowered my expectations of what I wanted to complete for the day down to one important task. It ended up being an easy day.

Over the past few years, I’ve become an expert at living my life while my business grows. I have created a program called Beyond the Overwhelm for Mom Entrepreneurs to support other women who are tired of living an overwhelmed life. This six week group coaching program will address moving Beyond the Overwhelm as a woman and as a businesswoman in order to achieve abundance and balance.

For more information and to register, visit ProsperityLighthouse.com/moms

P.S. In celebration of Mother’s Day, we’re offering a few bonuses. You’ll want to be one of the first so sign up so that you can take advantage of our gifts!

Two nights ago, the Chicago Bulls played the Boston Celtics in Game 6 of the first round of the 2009 playoffs.  I happened to turn on the TV and see the game with about 5 minutes left.

Because I grew up in Chicago, I was cheering for the Bulls (and it creates an interesting dynamic since I’ve lived in Boston for over 14 years and my wife was cheering for the Celtics.)

This 6th game was very exciting. The Bulls had built up their lead by 12 points with approximately 5 minutes left in the game. They seemed to have a good control of the game.

But then my heart sank when the Bulls were down by 8 with 3 minutes left.  The momentum was now on the Celtics side. And I was about to text my brother saying that I thought the game was over.

How little faith I had… because the Bulls came back. But then the Celtics came back. Then the Bulls… then the Celts. Back and forth it went. When it was all said and done, the Bulls won by 1 in 3OT.

So, why am I sharing this story with you?

I saw very clearly that this game was a reflection of how many of us could live our lives.

In our lives, we each have our ups and downs. For some reason, when things are down, we panic and worry that it will last forever. We give up. Lose hope. Beat ourselves up.

But for what? This type of reaction does not support us.

Had either team lost hope and gave up, we wouldn’t have had the exciting game that we had. This game showed me that even when a situation may not look good at the moment, it will change.

And often times when we are faced with a challenging situation, it forces us to dig deeper inside ourselves to connect to our inner strength and passion that keeps us going.

We just need to have faith in ourselves and not give up. So, if you’re faced with any situation you don’t like, have faith in yourself that you can lift yourself out of it. The situation is there so that you can learn to count on yourself and remember what you’re made of.

And who knows, perhaps on some higher spiritual level, the Bulls and the Celtics were not just competing against each other in this Playoff series. Perhaps, they were helping each other connect to their inner strength. They were helping each other see what they were made of.